


Retreat

by CrashDevil (cjdevlin19)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Reader-Insert, bisexual reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28683456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjdevlin19/pseuds/CrashDevil
Summary: A text message from an ex sends Y/n into a spiral of sadness. What can her friend, Sam, do to help?~~~~~~~~~~~In a bunker of people with literal Hell hiding in their memories, it just didn’t seem like you deserved to feel so bad about the fact that you were lonely. When compared to what the Winchesters had been through, what was a little touch-starvation and involuntary celibacy? What was a little loneliness compared to all the loss and death in their pasts? You should count your blessings and move on, and most of the time you could, but…not today.You were almost done with that second glass of whiskey when the soft knock came to your door. You beckoned in whoever happened to be knocking and looked up to give Sam another tight smile. “Pack a bag.” His words made you shake your head in confusion. “Comfy clothes, don’t worry about weapons.” That’s all he said before leaving the room again.
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Retreat

**Pairing** : Past OMC x Reader, Past OFC x Reader, Sam x Reader

**Story Warnings** : bisexual reader, self-esteem issues, loneliness, past breakups, fluff

~~~~~~~~~

You stared at your phone, reading and re-reading the message chain. Every word of it hurt. You were drinking. It wasn't even noon yet. Before the text convo was even done, you’d poured yourself a tumbler of whiskey. As soon as her name popped up on your phone, you’d felt the need to drink. You barely noticed Sam walk into the Library, too lost in the past and your liquor.

“Hey.” Your eyes snapped up and caught his. “You okay?”

You gave a tight smile and nodded. “Yeah. Aren’t I always?”

“No,” he said, sitting on the table next to your phone and looking down at you. “What’s wrong?”

You took a drink of your whiskey and sighed. “My ex-girlfriend messaged me.”

“ _The_ ex-girlfriend?” Sam asked. Of course, Rosa wasn’t the only ex-girlfriend, but she was the most important. Rosa was the one who’d broken your heart…several times. The on-again/off-again high school sweetheart who’d helped you discover and explore the woman-loving side of yourself. “What’d she say?”

You presented him the phone and leaned back as he read the short message chain.

**> >I’m sorry my selfishness overshadowed how special and important you were to me and that I didn’t realize it until it was too late.**

She’d sent it early in the day, and you'd immediately worried for her.

_**< <Wow. That’s… kinda outta left field. Are you okay?** _

You were always one to put other peoples’ emotions first.

**> >Had a dream.**

**> >Been analyzing it over my coffee**

Oh, nothing too serious, then.

_**< <What kind of dream?** _

**> >You and I went to a formal dance and were affectionate and happy, we went to freshen up and instead of rejoining you I changed my dress hair and makeup to feel better about myself. By the time I was done the dance was over and you were gone, I found a letter from you on a table saying you never wanted to see me again**

**> >I felt sad and hurt and when I left I was distracted and couldn’t find my way back to my house.**

_**< <Oh, that’s sad. I mean… I dunno, it was… I wouldn’t ever say I don’t want to see you again. There was pain in our relationship but I have too many fond memories to write you off like that. I still think about you… more than I should, you know?** _

**> >Me too.**

**> >And I am sorry for hurting you**

_**< <I believe you** _

**> >I felt like it needed to be said.**

“Well, it seems like she regrets the way she treated you. Why the whiskey at noon?” Sam asked, setting the phone back on the table next to him.

“Yeah, she’s realized her mistake…it’s just a decade too late to do either of us any good.” You took another drink. “You know Derek said something similar a couple years after he ran out on me? Said I was the best damn thing he ever threw away.”

“Yeah, well, Derek was trash himself.”

You chuckled, but there was no happiness in the sound. “You don’t get it, Sam. I loved them so deeply that I…it was detrimental to _me_ how much I loved _them_ , but they both cheated. They both left. They both regretted it, but it’s not…they don’t miss _me_. They miss having someone who supported and loved them and put their well-being above everything in her life.” You tipped the rest of your whiskey into your mouth and stood to pour another one. You turned back to him as soon as you had more liquor in your cup. You gave another tight smile and tried to swallow down the urge to cry. “What is it about me that’s so much better in hindsight? Why is it that people never want me when I’m right there in front of them?”

You shook your head. “Sorry to dump my shit on you, Sam. I’ll be all right.” You swiped your phone off of the table and padded away toward your room. You knew Sam didn’t mind you dumping your emotional stuff on him. He wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know, but something about letting out that side of your sadness, even to someone like Sam who had been more than a little bit supportive of you since you met him through Donna and became friends…letting the sadness show just wasn’t something you usually did.

In a bunker of people with literal Hell hiding in their memories, it just didn’t seem like you deserved to feel so bad about the fact that you were lonely. When compared to what the Winchesters had been through, what was a little touch-starvation and involuntary celibacy? What was a little loneliness compared to all the loss and death in their pasts? You should count your blessings and move on, and most of the time you could, but…not today.

You were almost done with that second glass of whiskey when the soft knock came to your door. You beckoned in whoever happened to be knocking and looked up to give Sam another tight smile. “Pack a bag.” His words made you shake your head in confusion. “Comfy clothes, don’t worry about weapons.” That’s all he said before leaving the room again.

You did what he requested, but you were still confused and that didn’t dissipate as he loaded your bag and his in the Impala and drove off without telling you where he was taking you, despite you asking…repeatedly.

“Seriously, Y/n, hush. You'll see when we get there, okay?”

“Okay.”

“So, uh, what…what happened to that girl you were talking to online? The cute one with the cheeky smile?”

“She went back to school, got a second job and we drifted. Of course, I didn't want to come on too strong so I would send her a ‘thinking of you' message every few days and we'd talk a bit and she'd send me racy gifs. Tell me what she was going to do to me when we finally met up I-R-L.” You scoffed loudly and rolled your eyes. “And then she started posting all these cute things with some other chick tagged in ‘em, so I stopped messaging her. I’m not stupid. I can take a hint. She waited a few weeks where she'd message _me_ every once in a while, never mentioned the other chick or what I'd done to…piss her off, and then she completely ghosted. Deactivated her blog and started a new one.”

“I'm sorry, Y/n. That sounds like such a dick move.”

You shrugged. “It is what it is. People get tired of me damn quick, Sam. I'm surprised you and Dean haven't kicked me out on my ass, yet,” you finished with a chuckle like it didn't hurt that you couldn't manage to keep anyone interested in you. Too strong, not strong enough. Too loving, too devoted, too hard on yourself, too honest about the things that made you the person you were. It was always something and it was always _you_. “Hey, it's not like I did something stupid like bought her presents that she's never gonna see or bought myself a necklace with her initial on it, or something like that.”

“Oh, Y/n.”

The pity in his tone made you bristle. No, Sam Winchester was not supposed to pity you. “It's fine. It was a twenty dollar necklace. I can take the pendant off and use the chain for something else. An amulet or a charm or something. It's no big. Can I turn on some music?”

The rest of the trip was spent in silence save for the sound of wheels on asphalt and whatever music was coming out of the speakers at the moment and eventually boredom had you closing your eyes. When you woke up, Sam was grabbing your bags from the back and you were parked in front of a large cabin in a densely wooded area. “Where are we?”

“Nebraska. It’s one of Rufus’ old getaways. Figured you probably _need_ a getaway.”

You let out a happy scoff and pushed open the car door. “I don’t know where I was expecting you to be taking me but it was not here. Wow.”

“Come on. Wait ‘til you see inside.” You followed him into the cabin, where he dropped your bags by the door. It was gorgeous. Two stories, a large living room/kitchen, comfortable-looking furniture, a fireplace in the corner. It was not, at all, what you were expecting from an old hunter’s cabin. “It’s been a project. I’ve been doing an odd weekend up here every few months for years.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, no one except Dean does. It’s not done yet.”

You twirled a bit as you headed to the middle of the living room. “Looks pretty done to me.”

“Well, almost. I don’t have wifi set up out here and I don’t have all the books I want yet, but…it’s close.”

“Sam, this is amazing. It’s like a little slice of Heaven.”

“Well, I thought you might need-” You cut him off with a hug. You _did_ need a little Heaven on Earth. He smiled softly when you pulled back. “You hungry? I stopped and grabbed stuff for dinner.”

You smiled. “Thank you so much.” Sam just smiled in response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner gave way to beers in front of the fireplace. “I really can’t thank you enough, Sam. This…was just exactly what I needed.”

“Yeah, well…I was thinking…you know, about what you said about people not wanting you when you’re right in front of them and…” Sam set his beer on the floor and leaned closer to you. His neck was pink and his hazel eyes downcast. “I’m right in front of you.”

Your eyebrows tucked together. “What are you-”

“Y/n, you aren’t better in hindsight. You’re amazing. Right in front of me, right now, you’re amazing. I don’t know why things haven’t worked out in the past for you, but…Y/n, you are perfect.”

You were filled with confusion and awe. “Sam, what are you-”

“I’m saying I’ve been waiting for too long and you need to know how I really feel. I've wanted you since Donna introduced us and it's just never been the right time but I can't imagine it's still the wrong time now.” He leaned closer again. “If you wanted...if you want me, Y/n, I’d like to-”

You leaned in and pressed your lips to his and he was shocked for a millisecond before he grabbed your head and deepened the kiss. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours. “I take it that’s a ‘yes’? You do want me?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Hell yes, Winchester. Hell yes!”

He pressed a kiss to your lips and bumped his nose against yours. “Good. I told Dean we were gonna be gone ‘til Sunday...just in case.”

“Oh, well, then you can tell me about all the things you’ve been thinking about me since Donna introduced us.”

“Just tell you?” he teased.

“Well, I hope you’ll show me a bit, too,” you said, burying your hand in his hair and going in for another kiss. “And I hope it’s not just for this weekend.”

“No. You’re not getting rid of me that easy,” Sam whispered against your lips.


End file.
